Friday, 31 May 2013

Kakorrhaphiophobia - fear of failure or fear of getting started

How often do you put stuff off? assignments, DIY, getting married, looking for a new job etc etc....

Its amazing how we'll procrastinate to the point that we'll doing something else (anything else) rather than the thing we know needs doing. To top that the things we often do are even harder than the thing we're putting off but because the fear of getting started passes our emotional threshold

the problem here is that there is a fault in human design which makes us intially focus on what we don't want rather than focus on what we do want. Unfortunately whatever you focus on is what you get, its sometimes referred to as the law of attraction....

In NLP the process of fixing is is to biuld well formed outcomes; the stages are:
1) State the goal in positive terms. what you want NOT what you dont want
2) Specify the goal in Sensory Based Terms - VAKOG
3) Specify the goal in a way that you find compelling
4) Run a eccology check on your Goal to make sure it is for you in all areas of your life.
5) Self-initiated and maintained.
6) State the Context of the goal.
7) State the Resources needed to achieve the goal.
8) Evidence Procedure - how will you know when you have achieved it?

Ask youself "Having achieved the goal, now looking back, what has it done for you and is doing for you?

Have fun and ask if you want more details 

Sunday, 19 May 2013

Emetophobia - Fear of vomiting

Whilst teaching an NLP course in Birmingham today we got to a discussion on phobias and how they can be dealt with. It is one of those areas the NHS seems to have trouble dealing with and so either medicates or refers for therapy. The therapy of choice seems to be CBT
One lady talked about her experience of CBT for her OCD and how helpful it had been then I suddenly remembered a story about a Emetophobia support group in Birmingham.... They had tried CBT etc and the 'therapist' in charge thought he'd try what he thought was NLP and the fast phobia cure....
If you are not sure how it works it is based on changing the emotional response by a version fo flooding in a hypnotic trance. The patient is put into a trance and asked to watch a movie of the their fear played forwards and backwards. There is a bit more detail to it than that but that's enough for my blog....
He thought "I know, I'll use the same process but as its a group session I'll go one better and actually play a movie for real!"

Here comes the best bit! Image watching a movie of someone vomiting then watching it in reverse (rewind) - sick out, sick in.... gggggrrrrrr.... wasn't well received and actually had the reverse effect. I should laugh but you cant help it can you.

If you really want help with phobias I'd recommend visiting 

Thursday, 9 May 2013

Ceraunophobia - fear of trying new things or something new

Are you scared of trying new things? unhapy with what you have or are doing but fearful of the unknown?

Have you ever seen the film Groundhog day? With Bill Murray
The only rule is change requires change..... change of thinking, change of action, change of outlook etc etc.

I once tricked an engineer to come and work for me by playing on his fear of change and giving him what he said would make him feel safe.... A company car
Yers later he wanted to leave but wouldn't because he wouldn't get a company car... His job didn't even justify one but it actually cost our company less than the pay rise we'd offered him in the past. That was 6 years ago anf I've long since stopped working for other people but he's still there doing the same things acting in the same way and expecting something different to happen.

What is at the edge of your map? There be dragons on the old pirate films but what were the dragons really anyway...

Thursday, 2 May 2013

Whatifaphobia - fear of not enough work

This is a common condition for the newly self-emplyed as they worry that if they turn down work, any work, they they wont get asked again or they'll run out of work!
Truth is its a self distructive mindset and can lead to burn out or taking the carp jobs nobody else wants....

follow some simple rules
1) what is th current market value for your product or service?
2) what is your USP?
3) why did you go self-employed in the first place?
4) how much do you actually need?

Its not solely self-employed as I often see clients with anxiety issues around the risk of losing their job as maybe their role isn't really needed or they're not that great at it. Their self-talk says things like "If I am always seen to be busy then I'm needed" and "If I'm not busy people will think I'm lazy". the worst part is they haven't got a clear clasification for what consitutes 'busy'

heres a suggestion.... press pause for a moment and ask yourself what has bought you to this state of thinking?